Song of the moment: What you are by Audioslave


Cabrillo sucks... they have my first and last names switched, and three times--THREE TIMES, I filled out a "change of info" sheet, and they have yet to change it. I have been asking and requesting them to fix the error, but they just keep telling me to fill out another form and they assure me that they'll fix it. God damn they're fucking morons. Now, my Italian teacher thinks my first name is "Alba". I tell the people in my class that my name is Mila, but the teacher calls me ALBA and the people around me give me a wierd look as if I was trying to fool them or something. PLUS, since my name is supposedly Alba, the teacher thinks that my parents are Italian and expects me to be really good in Italian. I totally BOMBED the test and got a 50 out of 57 (to me, that's bombing a test. A good test would be missing no more than one or two questions). She seems all dissapointed.... urgh. But yeah, I haven't been studying at all, so bah. It's my fault.


Anywho, I dropped out of Physics last week and switched to Chemistry, since taking Chemistry before Physics would be a lot more sensible, even though I'm taking Analysis right now. I'm really freaking out because I cannot find my textbook anywhere.. and I have to read two sections from Chapter two, and answer 8 questions. Damnit.. I really don't want to turn the work in late and get partial credit. I fucking hate partial credit.


Other than freaking about my homework and having to study for 9 subjects, most of my classes are really fun. I consider math right now as "fun", since it's all just review and everything (so far) is pretty easy, English is alright.... I enjoy my English teacher, even though Lorraine is scared of him because he's too "strict" or whatever. I like my teachers lose, yet strict and with a sense of humor. Art is alright, I really hate drawing myself, and our first major project is to make a self-portait using charcoal... I HATE charcoal. Cisco is pretty decent right now, working with Photoshop again is pretty nice and the people around me keep asking me HTML questions, making me feel all special and smart. haha. Government is by far, one of my LEAST favorite classes, more so because of the teacher. I have a hard time trying to focus in normal classes already, and the way that he teaches (dull, boring) doesn't help. Ugh he makes me so mad that I can't even begin a rant about him. Drama is (and always has been) REALLY fun, and would probably have to be one of my favorite classes thus far, especially since Lorraine is in my class now and her familiarity comforts me. I dropped my guitar class, boo hoo.


Argh, let's get out of the subject of school now.


Anywho... tommorow, I get to hang out with ROBIN-POO!! Ahh, I love that girl. I am so happy that she hasn't moved to San Jose yet, and if she did, Stephanie and I would have to kick her ass. Robin is *hopefully* comming over to Harbor during lunch since she has a short day, and (if all goes to plan) Stephanie, Ashley, Robin and I would be going to Cinema 9 to see Once Upon a Time in Mexico after school. I'm getting up hopes up, just in case someone (especially Robin) backs out and/or something happens. I get my paycheck tommorow also, so w00t.


Lets see..... I'm most likely going to be studying all weekend long. I REALLY need to study for Italian, I need to pick out a new novel (even though I'm reading a non-fictional book right now) for my Speed Reading class, preferably something easy like a teen-age novel so I could practice my speed reading. If my Chemistry teacher will let me turn in my homework late, I would have to do that this weekend.... I need to do my Analysis homework that's due on Monday... I would probably have homework for American Lit (English), and I would need to do some sketchings on my sketchbook for Art. Sounds fun. I'm planning on doing most (or all) of my homework at Borders or Cabrillo's Library, so that's cool. I can never get any "quiet time" in my house anyways, and I can never seem to focus since there's the T.V., the computer, and the KITCHEN. lol.


I should get reading now.... C I A O !

Song of the moment: Bathwater by No Doubt


BlackRaven1602: i cant wait till I'm a cop
BlackRaven1602: than i can immerse myself in my work
BlackRaven1602: and never see the good side of civilization again
I am NOT pangit: ahh yes... but it's a pretty risky and dangerous occupation, though
I am NOT pangit: you can die like... anytime
I am NOT pangit: day or night
BlackRaven1602: thats the point!!
I am NOT pangit: lol
BlackRaven1602: like I want some stupid boring desk job where the most dangerouse thing is a papercut
BlackRaven1602: hell no!
I am NOT pangit: hahahaha
I am NOT pangit: thats true
I am NOT pangit: better to live your life in full than to do some stupid job that you hate
I am NOT pangit: no matter how dangerous it is
BlackRaven1602: damn straight
I am NOT pangit: hehe
BlackRaven1602: now tell that to these people who like dont want me to die and want to get a safe job
I am NOT pangit: your family and such?
BlackRaven1602: which is EVERYBODY ELSE!!
I am NOT pangit: ahhh...
I am NOT pangit: pshhh... my philosophy is, do whatever you want because it's your own fucking life and they're not the ones that go through what you're going through
I am NOT pangit: no one has the right to tell you what to do and how to live your life other than you
BlackRaven1602: exacta-fucking-lutely


Stephanie's dad is making a CD with his own songs. He's going to the record studio sometime this month, and he needs a piano player to play the piano [just ad lib and a few chords], so I will be accompanying him! It's sad that Steph isn't doing it... i don't know why, she can play the piano. Bleh, oh well. So anywho, Stephanie gave me a recording (in a simple tape recorder) of her dad's songs with the lyrics. I'm supposed to ad lib a little, and make up chords that go with the music. Wheee this is going to be fun. I just better not slack off... =X


I should get going on my Analysis homework. I've been procrastinating ever since I finished my Cisco website, talking to people, visiting random websites, browsing Ebay. Bahhhh I need to study. *dies*


Oh yeah---if you want to see my SHIBBY website for my Cisco Networking class, click here. Ciao.

Song of the moment: 99 Luft Balloons by Nena


Ryan got me into this song.. damn him! lol.


Anywho, school today was pretty decent. Italian is getting a little harder, but that's good thing because it means I can't slack off. Damn it's getting late... I should go to sleep now. Buonadotte..

Song of the moment: Quiet by John Mayer


Lyrics to "Quiet" by John Mayer


midnight
lock all the doors
and turn out the lights
feels like the end of the world
this Sunday night


there's not a sound
outside the snow's coming down
and somehow I can't seem to find
the quiet inside my mind


3:02
the space in this room
has turned on me
and all my fears have cornered me here
me and my TV screen


the volume's down
blue lights are dancing around
and still, I can't seem to find
the quiet inside my mind


daylight is climbing the walls
cars start and feet walk the halls
the world awakes and now I am safe
at least by the light of day


--

Girl in a strange new world...

Mmm... school is fun. Reading is fun. Writing and math are fun. Drama is fun. Art is fun. Hell, even Cisco Networking is fun.


Wow. This is a wierd feeling... I have been feeling happy for the longest time without a single suicidal thought or feeling of depression. It feels great to have things to do, not being a lazy ass, and actually having honor in what I am doing.


Life is wonderful.


Anywho, today was pretty great. I'm tired because I've had a busy day, not tired because I've been lazy sitting on my ass in front of the t.v. all day. After school, I took the bus over to Cabrillo College for my Speed Reading and Comprehension class. The teacher, Pat Camarillo, seems really nice. She's really cool about tardies and absenses, in fact, she's actually giving us FOUR free absenses just for the fun of it. She told the class that "Read 52" was the hardest reading class offered to Cabrillo, next to this one reading class that actually teaches people that want to TEACH OTHER PEOPLE how to speed read. Hearing her say that made the class sound all hard, and some people got intimidated (as did I), yet the more she talked about the diffuculty of the class, the more I got excited. I mean, I'm just taking that class for fun and I can drop it anytime if I want, but I have a feeling that I will be sticking to it to the very end and possible double [or triple, if that's possible] my reading and comprehension skills. It's really good for school and just for recreational reading. Soooo fun. ;D


After the class, I went over to the library to do my Analysis homework, which took me about 30 minutes to do. Afterwards, I went over to the cafeteria and ate a pasta salad, washed down with a nice hot cup of french vanilla cappuccino, all while I was reading the book, Odd Girl Out. I'm already past the halfway mark of the book, and I've only been reading it for like two days now. Reading and writing is so fun. More people should do it as a recreation/hobby, instead of as a chore. Its very awarding when you finish a book and you know you did it by choice, not by force. It's even better when you absolutely FALL IN LOVE with that book, reading it two or three more times afterwards. I went through this stage in Junior high when I just kept reading the same book over, and over, to a point when I could predict every single thing that was going to happen next, even memorized some of the lines in which most the characters speak. It wasn't the easiest book to read, either... must have been 11th-grade level, but I just fell in love with it and even 'til today, it still stands as one of my all-time favorites.


GOD DAMN my mom is so senile. She just walked into the room and asked me if I had eaten. I asked her, "Why, what are you cooking?" Her: "Luncheon meat" Me: "What the hell, I told you I wasn't going to eat meat anymore *gets bitter*" Her: "Ahh, whatever. *walks out*" Damnit. I felt like throwing a fucking brick at her fucking idiot face. Garrr. [Shit I can feel myself starting to PMS again... hahahahahaha. Being a girl is cool since I can basically blame everything on PMS. Good times.]


I should go review over my Italian notes/textbook. Afterwards, I'll read more of my book and fall asleep. Wheeeee. ^.^

"99 Red Balloons" (by Nena)
"99 Red Balloons" (by Nena) 99 Decision Street. 99 ministers meet. To worry, worry, super-scurry. Call the troops out in a hurry. This is what we've waited for. This is it boys, this is war. The president is on the line As 99 red balloons go by.


Which 80's Song Fits You?
brought to you by Quizilla



You represent... anger.
Mad at the world, eh? You have a tendency to...
freak out easily. Overly emotional about
everything, you're most prone to bouts of
cruelty and moodiness. Other people may be
afraid of the fact that you explode so easily,
but at least you're honest... even if you're
honest about not liking anything.


What feeling do you represent?
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My inner child is six years old!

Look what I can do! I can walk, I can run, I can read!
I like to do stuff, and there's a whole big world out there to do it in.
Just so long as I can take my blankie and my Mommy
and my three best friends with me, of course.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
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You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.


What Kind of Smile are You?
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Your Heart is Grey


What Color is Your Heart?
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What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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You're A Villian! You evil person, you. You have a dark side to you. Your destiny is world destruction/domination. Just so long as those pesky heros stay out of your way.


What Type Of Anime Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Garr I lied in my last post that I was going to do something productive. Instead, I've decided to fill out another pointless survey because I'm too lazy to get out of my computer, yet I'm still bored so this outta take up some time to do....


LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Mil/Mila/Miladel o_O;
-- Birthday: June 7
-- Birthplace: Pasay City [Manila], Philippines
-- Current Location: Santa Cruz, California
-- Eye Color: Brown
-- Hair Color: Reddish brown
-- Height: 5'4
-- Righty or Lefty: Right
-- Zodiac Sign: Gemini


LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Filipina/Italiana
-- The shoes you wore today: Err.. I've been walking around barefoot all day [in my pajamas all day] so nur yeah.
-- Your weakness: Overcompulsiveness...
-- Your fears: Losing at something I love doing/am good at, failing in general
-- Your perfect pizza: Chocolate pizza =O~
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: 4.0 GPA, meet the guy of my dreams [hah, I'll keep the details to myself though]


LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: WTF
-- Your thoughts first waking up: "I wonder if this day will suck."
-- Your best physical feature: Uhh.... my ankles..? o_O;
-- Your bedtime: I try to sleep as early as 9:30-10 on weekdays, and I just sleep whenever I feel like it on weekends
-- Your most missed memory: The times I spent with my grandfather...


LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Coke
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Neither!
-- Adidas or Nike: That's hard... uhhh, I gotta say Nike.
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
-- Chocolate or vanilla: What the hell kind of a question is that? OF COURSE chocolate. You fool.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Mmm... cappuccino.


LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: Hell no.
-- Cuss: HELL THE FUCK NO. Oh wait...
-- Sing: Of course
-- Take a shower: Every school day and only when I feel like it/go somewhere on weekends.
-- Have a crush: A few... ;)
-- Do you think you've been in love: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. A fastidious fiend like me in love?
-- Want to go to uni: Uni? Unisex bathroom? University? Universal Studios? Who ever made this survey is on crack.
-- Like(d) high school: Love it. ;D
-- Want to get married: Uhh. Not at the moment [obviously], and I still question if I will ever get married period. I'm just scared of never meeting a guy that lives up to my selfish standards and is someone I can actually put up with for the rest of my life without having the urge to strangle him to death day by day.
-- Believe in yourself: In times when I have to, yes.
-- Get motion sickness: I get motion sickness in cars only when the air conditioner is on. Wierd....
-- Think you're attractive: That's a fucking conceited ass question, because if you say yes, then obviously you're being conceited. By saying "no, I'm the ugliest person alive" it's like you want people to be sorry for you and have them tell you you're beautiful.
-- Think you're a health freak: At times.
-- Get along with your parent(S): Hardly ever.
-- Like thunderstorms: Love them.
-- Play an instrument: Other than my voice, I also play the piano and guitar.


LAYER SIX:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Nope, never have.
-- Smoked: No.
-- Done a drug: Only things that are legal.
-- Had Sex: I'm a virgin and proud of it.
-- madeout: *counts the days* Nope, that was over a month ago. I think..
-- Gone on a date: Ehh, not really.
-- Gone to the mall: Yeah..
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos: No, but I would like to.
-- Eaten sushi: Nah.
-- Been on stage: Yeahp.
-- Been dumped: Hahahahahahahaha. No.
-- Gone skating: I played around with Austin's skateboard during school for a bit..
-- Made homemade cookies: Nope.
-- Gone skinny dipping: Uhhh... yeah, in my bathtub. o_O;
-- Dyed your hair: Yeap.
-- Stolen anything: Nope.


LAYER SEVEN:
Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yes.... and sadly, it was with my cousins. ROFL.
-- If so, was it mixed company: Yup.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Gar, I already said I've never drank alchohol... EVER.
-- Been caught "doing something": Without the quotation marks, then yes. I've been caught "doing" my homework, I've been caught sleeping in class, etc..
-- Been called a tease: Gahhh... yes
-- Shoplifted: No, I actually have money to waste so what's the point in shoplifting.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: No. Only morons that are too insecure to be original and "themselves" do that, which causes them to have friends that are even more fake than they are, and I hate living a lie.


LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: I suppose... anytime after 25.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: I originally wanted 5 kids: three boys and two girls, but whatever happens happens. Names (boys)--Orion, Daniel (as a tribute to all of the guys I've liked named Daniel. o_O;), Armado (my grandfather. Armado also means "armed and ready" in Spanish. Fuck yeah, I would want my kid to be a fighter. hehe), Broen [Yes, Bro-En. BROEN. I just decided it sounds cool]. [Girls]--Maia, Celestia, Belleza [beauty in Italian], Stella [Star in Italian/Latin]
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Don't have one. I never really thought about it.
-- How do you want to die: *takes a deep breath* I would like to die after become a very succesfull lawyer. I will defeat my every opponent with great vigor, as I form a long line of people that completely hate me to the bone, causing them great envy to a point when one of them CRACKS and brutally mutates my body using every single drop of hatred within them. I not only want to die a brutal death, I want meaning and PASSION behind it. I just don't want to die without a reason.... all old and wrinkly on my deathbed, fuck no. I want it to be tradgic, painful and GOD DAMN BLOODY. [Yes, I know I'm a psycho.]
-- Where you want to go to uni: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: Lawyer, part time singer/actress. o_O;
-- What country would you most like to visit: Italy, Philippines, Sweden [don't ask]


LAYER NINE:
In a guy/girl..
-- Best eye color? Green/hazel. Or just brown.
-- Best hair color? Red/black, brown/black
-- Short or long hair: SHORT.
-- height: Over 5'5 or 5'6
-- Best weight: Best weight? Uhh I don't really pay attention to a guy's weight. o_O;
-- Articles of clothing: Doesn't matter.
-- Best first date location: Best first date or best first date location? Ugh, I guess I'll just do both. The best first date would be meeting at a concert in the Catalyst and then heading off to Borders or somewhere we can talk.
-- Best first kiss location: On the beach/wharf, underneath the stars.


LAYER TEN:
--# of drugs taken illegally: None.
--# of people I could trust with my life: Too lazy to think about it.
--# of CDs that I own: Too many to count.
--# of piercings: Five.
--# of tattoos: None.
--# of scars on my body: A lot on my arms... one that I got when I was like, 3 years old that's right next to my left eye
--# of things in my past that I regret: Too many to count.

Song of the moment: Hit me! by The Sounds


I love The Sounds. They're like modern 80's music and the lead singer even reminds me of Blondie.


Anywho... laziness has struck me once again. I've been watching "Sexy Sunday" on the Lifetime channel with my mom, just laying on the couch alllll freaking day long. The thing is with the Lifetime channel, you would have to watch the movie from the very beginning, otherwise you wouldn't know what it was about and/or you wouldn't really enjoy the film or the story line. Eww.... what the hell am I saying? I'm talking about the fucking Lifetime channel for crying out loud. Yeah I'll shut up now.


The problem with laziness is that you complain about how bored you are, yet you're too lazy to do anything about it. You also complain about all these things that you need to do, yet your laziness limits you and just keeps you locked up amongts the perimeter of the couch where you really can't do anything productive, so you're stuck there watching t.v. all day long. I have a huge pile of laundry that I need to do. I still need to read those 30 pages from the Crucible. I still need to at least do 10+ pages on my Italian workbook AND lab book (just because I feel like I have to). Hmm.. I need to do my analysis homework, but it's not really that important since it's due on Tuesday, yet I still worry about it because I'm probably going to forget about it until the midnight before Tuesday. Arggghhh. My mom told me to clean today, but she is just as fucking lazy as me and once I get up and start gathering up my laundry, she's going to make me do all of this shit that I really don't have the energy for.


Yesterday


I went to the San Jose FOB 99 market [Ranch 99 for out-of-state people] where I "FOB-shopped" with my mom. Ugh, seeing those catfish swim around that tank in the fish and meat section, and then seeing these dead fish right below the tank with the live ones stare at me was just... bah. I saw some cow tounges, brains, livers, intestines. And from then on, I swore to myself that I will be a vegatrian again. That sight was just... unbearable. The first time I decided to transition to vegetarianism was when I saw this thing on the news about the conditions of the whole cow industry and GOD I just started crying right then and there. Seeing a cow fight to walk because of being bred to have the biggest utters as they possible could.... watching a little baby cow with green fungus and crap growing around its eyes..... finding out that those cows have been living on concrete their entire lives, possible never seeing a sing blade of grass EVER... I just cried the entire day. Cows are NOT happy in California. They're fucking miserable, unless they're grown from those organic companies and stuff. That's why I only and I mean ONLY organic and soy milk. Regular milk is fucking gross.


I asked my mom to drop me off to the Boardwalk when we got home so I could claim my gift certificates, but the fucking owners and Bobby [the main manager] weren't there so I couldn't do it. God damnit they owe me like 200 dollars. They owe me a hundred dollars for refering Marie, and another 100 dollars for the souvenier promotional cup thing. Stupid little piece of.... grrrr.


After paying a few rounds of Initial D, I headed to downtown where I called Stephanie to meet me up so we could watch SWAT together. She didn't have any money, so I offered to pay for her. While I waited for her bus to get there, I walked around downtown and bought myself a new pair of red "nerdy Weezer" glasses and three used books from Logos. One is about this girl that has issues connecting with her feminine side, so her parents decided to take her to a mental hospital, where she spent 2 years learning "how to be a girl". It's a lot like One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, so I'm planning on reading both and somewhat compare the two. I also bought two books from Anne Rice [vampire chronicles author]. After watching SWAT, Steph and I walked over to Borders and hung out. We talked for a really long time. We talked about friends, the afterlife, ghosts, and just random subjects. It's really easy having intellectual conversations with her. I find it hard to do that with most of my friends.


Anywho, I should really get to working now. Plus I seriously have nothing to wair for tommorow, so I should go do my laundry or something. Bah.


Arrivederci.